Parables of Overconsumption

I have a pair of Aquazzuras I have never worn. I bought them for my birthday a few years ago and they are still in the box.

I also buy clothes for occasions and then never wear them again. And yet when the next occasion comes, and there is always a next occasion, my mind says I have nothing to wear. So I go shopping again.

Do I feel guilty about spending money this way? Yes, of course. I have recently learnt that this probably stems from my childhood. We did not have money for good things or fancy things, and we made do with what we had. Now I buy things to prove to myself that I can buy things just because I want to. This felt like progress. But is it? I think I was trying to fill a void of self-acceptance with retail therapy.

The wardrobe is the part that gives it away. If the buying were about having things, having them would be enough. It never is. So I started asking harder questions. What am I trying to prove, and to whom? How do I stop buying things of fleeting value?

I started paying attention to what buying things represents for me. Sometimes it is a sign of other stressors or problems in life that I have been ignoring. Sometimes it gives me temporary comfort. Thankfully, I have not fallen into debt because of my spending habits. But I realised that continuing down the same path was becoming harder to justify.

I started looking at purchases from an investment perspective: what value do I acquire by buying this? Sometimes the answer is simply joy. And that is a good enough answer. Other times, the answer requires looking deeper, sitting with uncomfortable questions, and understanding what I am really trying to satisfy. Answering those difficult questions and making it a habit has helped me break some of my impulsive patterns. Have I been successful every time? Yes and no.

The Aquazzuras are still in the box. I have not worn them and I have not got rid of them.